5K-W4-D1

Today I ran 3 minutes and walked for 1 and repeated that 5 times. I think that on Wednesday I'll try for 6 intervals. It was a beautiful morning with out a breath of wind and the sun shining cheerily. 

Last week I decided to try out the eating plan for the 21 day fix. My friend Jakki ordered me the work out program that comes with some coloured containers that you use to measure out your food. So I figured I'd give it a try, since it's really just about portion control. I've been following it for 4 days, today is day 5 or 21. Here's hoping I finally see some results on the scale again.

just getting started

Yesterday morning when I stepped on the scale it read 258.2lbs. This morning it read 256.2lbs. I like the looks of that. I have been making smoothies for breakfast and eating either eggs or sausages for a protein. I've been trying to eat mostly veggies at lunch and for dinner I'm just eating what I've always eaten. The next thing I need to do is work in some regular exercise. Which means getting to bed sooner so I can get up early. The going to bed early is the hardest part.

a week

A whole week has gone by since I have written a post. So much for my daily posts. I don't even know where that week went. I can tell you that I didn't do anything worth reporting. My scale has been stuck at 245(morning weigh ins). Basically I have been stuck here since November. I keep telling myself that this means I need to take drastic measures. But nothing ever really changes. Some days I feel like I am never going to reach my goals. Other days I feel like I can do anything. But here's the thing, regardless of how dedicated I am from day to day, that number on the scale isn't budging. It is hard to keep it all up, when the results aren't there. I'm not making excuses, I'm just voicing frustration. I want to find a life style that I can live in, from now on and forever. I know that fitting 60 minutes of exercises in everyday from here on out and forever just isn't realistic. Not with 4 kids and a bazillion other things that need to be done everyday. Even if I were to somehow find a way to do that now, I know that it would not be something that I could keep up forever. So then when I cut back, I'd be afraid that all that I worked for would too easily be for not. But I obviously I have figure out how to fit in more exercise, because the 10- minutes a day that I was doing wasn't making any difference. So what is my magic number? How am I ever going to get out of this stupid rut? Last fall I made a goal to climb Chief Mountain with my husband this summer. I planned to get into better shape, and to loose about 25 pounds. That was 6 months ago, and I've only lost about 7 lbs, and honestly I don't believe I could even get close to the top of that mountain right now. I have A LOT of work to do in the next 4 months, if I am going to make it. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have it in me. Some days I just don't care. And then on most days lately I simply feel hopeless. I don't like feeling this way. I want to feel positive. I want to feel like I can do it all, that I will reach my goals. I need something. I don't yet know what. But I do. Something to give me hope and that inner strength. Because, as of right now, I simply feel like this is dumb. really really dumb....so far I have disappointed myself...and I feel as though if I don't succeed, I will have disappointed my husband....and that all just sucks, and makes me want to cry.

Slacker

I've been slacking off. I haven't been keeping track of what I have been eating. That's not to say that I have been eating junk. I have still been trying to eat smart. I was sick for a few days, and that always puts a kink in habits. I'll need to get back on track this week. If I'm ever going to reach my goal, I need to be consistent. Some times I get impatient and just want to see massive results right NOW. But I know that slow and steady is better...and that again is where consistency comes into play.

tonight the scale reads 248lbs. I don't like that number. I'll step on the scale in the morning(that is when I usually try to do it) and see if it makes a difference.

Keeping it all up

How does one find the time to do all that needs to be done to have success at losing weight?

When I am actively keeping track of everything I eat, and how much water I am drinking, then I generally start to see the lbs come off. But lets be honest, this takes time. And when you add in the time for exercise, and strength training, this all starts to add up. I do really great for a week or two at a time, and then I start to sluff off. Is it really because it is hard to find the time? Or is it really because I figure that I have it figured out? that because I have been eating just the right things for 2 weeks that I don't need to keep track any more?

If I am being completely honest, I believe that it is that latter possibility. And as I sit here typing this, I realize that it is possible that the reason that I see the lbs come off when I am keeping track is because it isn't as easy to cheat yourself when you are writing down everything. But as soon as I stop, for some reason it is so much easier to just eat that extra cookie, or chocolate bar, or what ever it is that I know I shouldn't indulge in...especially late at night. It's the holding yourself accountable, I suppose that keeps one honest.

So I'll quit complaining about not having time and just do it. After all I said I was committed to this. I will accept no excuses, only results...right? that is what I said a few posts ago? right! So, I'm done with the excuses today.

bah!

Hear I am at the end of the day, and some how I have managed to avoid my 10 minutes of exercise. Can you believe it? I know, me neither. I did however get my kitchen looking decent. I took a little nap. Did some sewing. Played a board game with my three year old and held my baby. So it's no like I didn't do anything. I just avoided the exercise. Oh, well. Tomorrow is another day.

progress

For the past little while I've been riding my stationary bike for 10 minutes at least 5 times a week. It is hard to convince yourself that you don't have time for 10 minutes on the bike. I try to make the most of this 10 minutes by riding hard for 1 min and then slowing down for 30 seconds. I repeat this until the 10 minutes is up. I also include a 2 minute warm up and cool down.

Today I felt like 10 minutes wasn't quiet enough, but I hadn't left myself time to ride any longer than that. Tomorrow I will ride for 15 minutes. We are heading out for Family Pictures with this fabulous photographer. I am so very excited. And with that, I better get going.



ps. The scale read 244 this morning.

This is me

March 11 2011

My scale says 247lbs, I am 5'8" tall.
My measurements are as follows
Waist 46"
Hips 51"
Bust 49"

These numbers have been about the same since November 21st 2010. The scale has risen and fallen between 241lbs and 248lbs. but generally in the 245lb range. I think that it is obvious that I am in a rut.

That is one of the reasons why I started this blog. I wanted to get myself thinking about this daily, not just thinking about it, because really I do anyways. But thinking about new and creative ways to get myself out of this rut...to move onward and upward(or downward if we are talking about the numbers on the scale). To report to someone(or no one) out there in bloggerland. But just writing it out helps in making that commitment again each day.

I stumbled across this quote once that really struck me

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results." Kenneth Blanchard

I haven't a clue who he is, but I liked his quote.

Speaking of commitment...I better go ride my stationary bike now while baby is sleeping.

I hate trying to lose weight.

I have nothing against eating healthier, exercising regularly, and all around trying to live healthier. What I hate, is not seeing results. I hate it when I work my butt off, and then step on the scale only to see that it hasn't moved a bit in the past week. I know, I know, the numbers on the scale aren't everything. But common! They do mean a LOT. Losing inches is great. But even at times it seems those numbers aren't moving either. At times, for just a moment, I wonder why I am even trying. But then the better part of me reminds myself that this isn't going to happen all at once. It took 10 years to get here, it's going to take some time to reverse it. I can do this. I know I can and I will.

In other news....

I've been debating whether or not to use this blog or to just use the blog I have over at sparkpeople.com. I've been using this free site to track my meals and fitness activities. It has a blog feature. I have written a few entries. I hesitate, because sometimes it gets tiring having other people who are all really actively, nearly obsessed with weight loss posting comments. For some reason this can at times irritate me. It's not that I don't want people to comment. I LOVE comments. But I don't love comments that are the same old "you can do this" jargon. I get tired of the things people just say to make you feel better. What I want in a comment is something that is meaningful, inspiring, intriguing, thoughtful.
Another reason to use this blog is so that if I choose, I can more easily share this with my family and friends. Right now, I don't know if I am ready to do that. I like the anonymity of just writing to the blogging universe. Maybe somebody stumbles upon it, maybe they don't. But if I really want to keep myself honest, it may be helpful to have friends and family reading along, cheering me on. But then they would also have access to all my deep dark secrets when it comes to my attempt to lose this weight.

whatever happens, wish me luck