a week

A whole week has gone by since I have written a post. So much for my daily posts. I don't even know where that week went. I can tell you that I didn't do anything worth reporting. My scale has been stuck at 245(morning weigh ins). Basically I have been stuck here since November. I keep telling myself that this means I need to take drastic measures. But nothing ever really changes. Some days I feel like I am never going to reach my goals. Other days I feel like I can do anything. But here's the thing, regardless of how dedicated I am from day to day, that number on the scale isn't budging. It is hard to keep it all up, when the results aren't there. I'm not making excuses, I'm just voicing frustration. I want to find a life style that I can live in, from now on and forever. I know that fitting 60 minutes of exercises in everyday from here on out and forever just isn't realistic. Not with 4 kids and a bazillion other things that need to be done everyday. Even if I were to somehow find a way to do that now, I know that it would not be something that I could keep up forever. So then when I cut back, I'd be afraid that all that I worked for would too easily be for not. But I obviously I have figure out how to fit in more exercise, because the 10- minutes a day that I was doing wasn't making any difference. So what is my magic number? How am I ever going to get out of this stupid rut? Last fall I made a goal to climb Chief Mountain with my husband this summer. I planned to get into better shape, and to loose about 25 pounds. That was 6 months ago, and I've only lost about 7 lbs, and honestly I don't believe I could even get close to the top of that mountain right now. I have A LOT of work to do in the next 4 months, if I am going to make it. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have it in me. Some days I just don't care. And then on most days lately I simply feel hopeless. I don't like feeling this way. I want to feel positive. I want to feel like I can do it all, that I will reach my goals. I need something. I don't yet know what. But I do. Something to give me hope and that inner strength. Because, as of right now, I simply feel like this is dumb. really really dumb....so far I have disappointed myself...and I feel as though if I don't succeed, I will have disappointed my husband....and that all just sucks, and makes me want to cry.

Slacker

I've been slacking off. I haven't been keeping track of what I have been eating. That's not to say that I have been eating junk. I have still been trying to eat smart. I was sick for a few days, and that always puts a kink in habits. I'll need to get back on track this week. If I'm ever going to reach my goal, I need to be consistent. Some times I get impatient and just want to see massive results right NOW. But I know that slow and steady is better...and that again is where consistency comes into play.

tonight the scale reads 248lbs. I don't like that number. I'll step on the scale in the morning(that is when I usually try to do it) and see if it makes a difference.

When will it be spring??

The weather is kinda sorta warming up-ish. The snow covered streets and sidewalks have mostly melted clear. And the temperature has been hovering around 0C, give or take a few degrees. This means that I can venture out side for some exercise. Yesterday I just had the two youngest ones, so I put them both in the Chariot stroller and we headed out for a walk. How refreshing to be outside instead of inside riding my bike...but not actually going anywhere. I can't wait for spring weather to really arrive. I really want to ride my new bike outside, and go for the walks in the morning with the sunrise. Yes, I'm dying to have warm weather. We better get a stinking hot summer after this cold and windy winter we've had. I think we deserve it.

Really?

OK, so now I have a wicked sinus cold. I'm all stuffed up and I've got a head ache. FA.BU.LOUS!
And to top it all off, it has snowed again. ROAR. Where is spring??? Oh well, I'll go shovel the driveways and sidewalk and I'll count it as my exercise for the day. At least it is only -2C. I have to admit, it does look pretty outside. But I would rather be cleaning up my gardens as exercise instead of shoveling snow....again!

That is all.

Keeping it all up

How does one find the time to do all that needs to be done to have success at losing weight?

When I am actively keeping track of everything I eat, and how much water I am drinking, then I generally start to see the lbs come off. But lets be honest, this takes time. And when you add in the time for exercise, and strength training, this all starts to add up. I do really great for a week or two at a time, and then I start to sluff off. Is it really because it is hard to find the time? Or is it really because I figure that I have it figured out? that because I have been eating just the right things for 2 weeks that I don't need to keep track any more?

If I am being completely honest, I believe that it is that latter possibility. And as I sit here typing this, I realize that it is possible that the reason that I see the lbs come off when I am keeping track is because it isn't as easy to cheat yourself when you are writing down everything. But as soon as I stop, for some reason it is so much easier to just eat that extra cookie, or chocolate bar, or what ever it is that I know I shouldn't indulge in...especially late at night. It's the holding yourself accountable, I suppose that keeps one honest.

So I'll quit complaining about not having time and just do it. After all I said I was committed to this. I will accept no excuses, only results...right? that is what I said a few posts ago? right! So, I'm done with the excuses today.

bah!

Hear I am at the end of the day, and some how I have managed to avoid my 10 minutes of exercise. Can you believe it? I know, me neither. I did however get my kitchen looking decent. I took a little nap. Did some sewing. Played a board game with my three year old and held my baby. So it's no like I didn't do anything. I just avoided the exercise. Oh, well. Tomorrow is another day.

progress

For the past little while I've been riding my stationary bike for 10 minutes at least 5 times a week. It is hard to convince yourself that you don't have time for 10 minutes on the bike. I try to make the most of this 10 minutes by riding hard for 1 min and then slowing down for 30 seconds. I repeat this until the 10 minutes is up. I also include a 2 minute warm up and cool down.

Today I felt like 10 minutes wasn't quiet enough, but I hadn't left myself time to ride any longer than that. Tomorrow I will ride for 15 minutes. We are heading out for Family Pictures with this fabulous photographer. I am so very excited. And with that, I better get going.



ps. The scale read 244 this morning.