This is me

March 11 2011

My scale says 247lbs, I am 5'8" tall.
My measurements are as follows
Waist 46"
Hips 51"
Bust 49"

These numbers have been about the same since November 21st 2010. The scale has risen and fallen between 241lbs and 248lbs. but generally in the 245lb range. I think that it is obvious that I am in a rut.

That is one of the reasons why I started this blog. I wanted to get myself thinking about this daily, not just thinking about it, because really I do anyways. But thinking about new and creative ways to get myself out of this rut...to move onward and upward(or downward if we are talking about the numbers on the scale). To report to someone(or no one) out there in bloggerland. But just writing it out helps in making that commitment again each day.

I stumbled across this quote once that really struck me

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results." Kenneth Blanchard

I haven't a clue who he is, but I liked his quote.

Speaking of commitment...I better go ride my stationary bike now while baby is sleeping.

I hate trying to lose weight.

I have nothing against eating healthier, exercising regularly, and all around trying to live healthier. What I hate, is not seeing results. I hate it when I work my butt off, and then step on the scale only to see that it hasn't moved a bit in the past week. I know, I know, the numbers on the scale aren't everything. But common! They do mean a LOT. Losing inches is great. But even at times it seems those numbers aren't moving either. At times, for just a moment, I wonder why I am even trying. But then the better part of me reminds myself that this isn't going to happen all at once. It took 10 years to get here, it's going to take some time to reverse it. I can do this. I know I can and I will.

In other news....

I've been debating whether or not to use this blog or to just use the blog I have over at sparkpeople.com. I've been using this free site to track my meals and fitness activities. It has a blog feature. I have written a few entries. I hesitate, because sometimes it gets tiring having other people who are all really actively, nearly obsessed with weight loss posting comments. For some reason this can at times irritate me. It's not that I don't want people to comment. I LOVE comments. But I don't love comments that are the same old "you can do this" jargon. I get tired of the things people just say to make you feel better. What I want in a comment is something that is meaningful, inspiring, intriguing, thoughtful.
Another reason to use this blog is so that if I choose, I can more easily share this with my family and friends. Right now, I don't know if I am ready to do that. I like the anonymity of just writing to the blogging universe. Maybe somebody stumbles upon it, maybe they don't. But if I really want to keep myself honest, it may be helpful to have friends and family reading along, cheering me on. But then they would also have access to all my deep dark secrets when it comes to my attempt to lose this weight.

whatever happens, wish me luck

Hello???

Is there anybody out there?

I'm starting a new blog.

Why?

Well I am hoping to use this as a tool to keep me accountable.

Accountable to what?

I have a goal. I have reached a weight that I am not happy with. I have put on 60lbs in the past 10 years with the help of four pregnancies. It is time to lose these 60lbs and I want to do it before February 2012. I feel this is a reasonable goal.

I vow to post everyday. I will report what I have done that day to get a step closer to my goal. I will post about successes, failures, frustrations and pick me ups. I will be 100% honest with you and with myself. I will lay it all out there.

I don't know who will read this. I don't know if anybody else cares. But I need to make a change. And maybe, just maybe there will be somebody out there who will comment, who will say just what I needed to hear that day that will keep me going just one more day. Maybe new blogger friends will be made. Or maybe I'll just be talking to myself day in and day out. Whatever the case, I'll consider it therapy.

Will you join me in my journey?